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John Meehan spent years terrorizing women and manipulating them to obtain money, sex and power.

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He focused on isolating them from their loved ones. Yet two of the women he abused, his ex-wives Debra Newell and Tonia Bales, have started a cross-country friendship. They spent part of the Thanksgiving holiday together last month. Bales found out only after 10 years of marriage that Meehan had lied about his age and was addicted to painkillers. She has been dealing with PTSD from the incident and goes to therapy now, she said. Episodes of the six-installment podcast have been listened to more than 15 million times since it was released in early October, along with the series in The Times.

Since then, more women have reached out to Times reporter Christopher Goffard with their stories of Meehan. One woman dated him when he was 22 years old and pretending to be a medical student at Stanford, Goffard said. Even then, Meehan always wore scrubs. The woman recalled that Meehan kept a real skeleton in the corner of his bedroom that faced his bed.

Another woman got a restraining order against him that required he remain at least feet away from her at all times. She said she later spotted him feet away from her. Meehan coerced another woman into giving him intimate photos of her. She felt forced to agree. More than money, Meehan seemed motivated by a hunger for power, he said.

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This dynamic is typically an element of physically abusive relationships as well, they say. That can make it difficult to build a criminal case against them. Experts warned against harshly judging friends or family who might be in such a relationship.

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Already, their abuser is trying to isolate them from their loved ones, and unkind words would only make that easier. They recommended continuing to be a place for them to talk about their relationship and offer help. He could message hundreds of women in one night.

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Most people on dating sites are just looking for love, Murphy said. But while partners introduced through friends can be vetted, those met online remain more of a question mark. Twitter: skarlamangla. What Dirty John reveals about domestic abuse. She was part of the team of reporters awarded the Pulitzer Prize for its coverage of the San Bernardino terrorist attack. All Sections. About Us. B2B Publishing. Business Visionaries. Hot Property. Times Events. Times Store.

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